Dear Mr. Nicebody,
Thank you for helping me pull through these dry times. We have nothing in common, but that doesn't seem to bother us too much when we're together. When I went to your house last night, you had thoroughly cleaned it (even behind the TV!), prepared me dinner with fish you speared from the bottom of the icy Pacific, had a fire ready to go because you know I get cold, had made your bed, smelled delightful, did all of the dishes right after eating (!), focused almost entirely on me in bed including awesome oral sex, patted me down gently with a towel after said sex because I was really sweaty, and then cradled me to sleep after fetching me some water because I was thirsty. Oh yeah. You also had coffee ready for me in the morning because I had to leave early.
Are you the perfect man? Maybe I don't want any of those mentally high-functioning but narcissistic assholes anyway. Maybe I just want someone who can take care of me and themselves.
Or, as my roommate suggested, maybe I want a maid that I can sleep with.
T-Rex
I think I may want a maid that I can sleep with. That sounds amazing.
ReplyDeleteEspecially when said maid has a smokin' hot body. Lifeguard. Member of US Underwater Hockey Team (google that shit). His main downfalls:
ReplyDeletea) He is not terribly quick or cultured...but could probably survive in the wild.
b) He will always make me feel fat and hairy by comparison.
c) He is PAINFULLY socially awkward. Until you kiss him.
He is dessert. Awesome on occasion, not enough to subsist on.